If Only We Could Laugh...

Render unto Ceasar?

This is not a joke, folks! We didn't want to dignify this blatent little bit of idolatry with a link, but if you must, this is from bushfish.org

If you are tired of secularists telling you that The Lord has no place in our government and our public institutions, then show them that you disagree.

This symbol, this site, and this car magnet have been created for the millions of Americans who support the President and his vision for a government that embraces religion, morality, and family values. It shows worship to the Lord, respect for the President, and hope for all.

The 23rd Sigh

Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war,
I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control, they discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me
all the days of thy term,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.

Walking in the Light?

Question: How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb?

Answer: It takes 10:

One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.
One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
One to tell the nations of the world that they are either “for” changing the light bulb or “for” darkness.
One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.
One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: “Light Bulb Change Accomplished.”
One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.
One to viciously smear #7.
One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.
And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Seen on a web forum:

The Democrats’ mistake was in thinking that a disastrous war and national bankruptcy would be of concern to the electorate. The Republicans correctly saw that the chief concern of the electorate was to keep gay couples from having an abortion.

Also heard:

The Bush Health Plan™: Don’t get sick—especially if you’re uninsured

Bush’s exit strategy for Iraq: invade Iran